The birds and the bees talk, a conversation that most parents don’t know where to start. Some parents leave it up to the educational system, some face it heads on, and some avoid it at all costs. As society changes, and the media continues to send kids and teenagers overly sexualized content, now more than ever is it incredibly important to talk to your kids/teens about contraception.

In October 2005, on-line interviews were conducted by Ipsos Reid (Ipsos Canada) with 1171 Canadian teenagers (14 to 17 years of age) and 1139 mothers of teenagers. The results of the survey are as follows:

• Twenty-seven per cent of teens were sexually active at a mean age of 15 years, with an average of 2.5 lifetime partners, and had been in their current relationship for longer than eight months. The last time that they had had sex, 76% had used a condom. 
• Teens and mothers overestimated the percentages of teens sexually active at any age. Most valuable sources of information were school, parents, friends, and doctors. Sixty-nine per cent of teens could not find the information that they were looking for, and 62% reported obstacles in getting information. 
• Teens lacked knowledge about sexually transmitted infections and their consequences. 
• Seventy-five per cent of mothers believed that their teenagers’ friends were significant role models when it came to sexuality, and 50% mentioned entertainment celebrities at par with them. 
• 45% of teenagers regarded their parents as their role models, far ahead of friends (32%) and entertainment celebrities (15%).
•  Despite saying that they had positive relationships with their mothers, 38% of teens had not discussed sexuality with them.

Although this data and its results were compiled quite some time ago, it’s indicative of the barriers teens face when attempting to decipher through information available to them in regards to sexually transmitted infections and contraception. As a parent, it’s important to start the conversation. Here are a few tips to help you get started

When to Start Talking About It?  

This is what we like to call ripping off the band-aid and is likely the toughest part. When should you start talking to your kids about birth control? It’s recommended by OB-GYN’s to start talking to your kids about birth control methods as early as you can, typically between 13-15 years old. This is also the recommended age for teen girls to meet a gynecologist. Although this may be nerve wrecking for you, remember this is a pivotal point as it shows your kids that they can approach you with any questions they may have.

How to Talk About It?

The rule of thumb is to stay as calm as possible. If you kids approach you or you start the conversation about birth control, it’s incredibly important to not overreact. Being supportive and open to having a conversation in a safe place with your kids will set the tone to how they approach you in the future. If you bring up the topic of birth control to your kids and they show signs of being uncomfortable, take note and ease back. Sometimes when a conversation like this is forced, your kids may not be inclined to having the conversation at all.

Is it too early for your kids to use birth control?

Depending on the method of birth control you’re using there are very minimal restrictions. Male and female condoms are great options and can be fitted specifically to your teen. If you are interested in an oral contraceptive (the pill), your teen will need to wait until their menstrual cycle starts. Be sure to advise your kids if they experience any side effects that they inform you or their doctor. 

Explaining the options.

Once the initial awkwardness has subsided, take the opportunity to talk to your kids about the different options available to them. Educating your kids on the pros and cons of each option, what they protect against, and how they work will help your teen make an informed decision when the time presents itself. 

Although it’s a conversation that you’re not hoping for, if you prepare yourself it can be very rewarding and bring your kids closer to you. Teenage years are hard enough as it is, having a parent who is willing to listen, and provide a comfortable space to learn, ask questions and understand how to navigate the pressures will be music to their ears. Educating your kids/teens empowers them to make the right decisions for themselves.